On Anxiety

On Anxiety

By Erin Hawley

High over the beach surrounded by glass
on three sides, nothing but wind cracking,
pressing in on the cage, bending the surface,
and the growl of incoming clouds;
in this unfamiliar abode,
I am exposed.

Just over the frothy meeting of sea and sand,
where fish lay slain and speckle the shore,
where pebbles and dunes and clams lay claim,
the dust of earth twirls in static chaos,
a wave grows to meet me.

Turning to face the wall, my breath reverberates
against the sterile white barrier, an occlusion
that grasps at my ribs and tightens.

There is no fleeing or magic to reverse time; turning back,
I watch as images slow, breaking at the seam,
hard lines blur and sound
gives no comfort in silence.

Soon, the water captures the wind, surrounding the glass,
on three sides – then nothing but silence,
penetrating.

 

About Erin Hawley

Erin is a disabled latina living in New Jersey. She is board-game enthusiast, Trekker, bibliophile, and activist. She runs The Geeky Gimp, a blog on the intersection of all things nerdy and disability. You can also find her streaming games on Twitch and obsessing over Mariah Carey.